Stop the Glorification of Busy - Resolutions
So in true Stop the Glorification fashion, I haven't written in a while. Why, you ask? I got busy. Haha, I actually hadn't realized it had been so long! I'm still working on instilling the new habit of writing more consistently.
Today I'm going to talk a bit about resolutions. The end of the year is nearing, and it's time to write my list.
I am a HUGE fan of New Year's Resolutions. There is a an area in the notes on my phone labeled NYR...a place where I put notes for self improvements, changes, desires, or goals. Every year, starting in about October to organize the notes I've made for myself throughout the year, I do an evaluation of things...a personal check up, so to speak. I take a look at myself, the year that has just passed, things I had worked on the year prior, and so on, and I make a list. It could contain things that didn't get quite worked on the past year, updates on past resolutions, revisions, new items, and so on. Personally, I really enjoy these lists. I write them down every year so I can track year to year the things I've worked on.
Lets talk about resolutions for a second here. There are a few very important guidelines to adhere to, and these are very crucial. I'll keep the list to just a few:
1. Choose resolutions that are actually attainable. as humans, we like to accomplish things and we get discouraged and deflated if we don't. So why would we place an expectation on ourselves that will cause us to let ourselves down? Let's set ourselves up for success, not self-inflicted disappointment. This means don't set a goat to run a marathon in the coming year if you haven't laced up a pair of trainers since high school. Start realistically and make a goat to run once a week for the first 4 months, and twice a week after that. You get the idea.
2. Don't make grand, sweeping resolutions. Avoid making goals like, "become a more fabulous person!!!!" because that won't happen. How do you define "fabulous?" Start there. If being fabulous always looking your best? Then make a goal to do your hair more often, or get manicures more regularly, or spend a little bit more effort shopping for yourself. Does it mean putting yourself out there more? Not being so shy? So make a resolution to join a book club or other small gathering that isn't going to over intimidate you. Make specific goals, not grand ones.
3. Choose resolutions that are big, but add small ones as well. Give yourself a variety. Again, we like to feel successful, like we've accomplished something, so give yourself some small ones. A few years ago I resolved to stop saying "huh?" in conversations and switch it with either, "I'm sorry?" or "I beg your pardon?" when I didn't hear what someone said. I really like choosing small things in my own daily speech to work on - they're small, attainable and cause me to place more focus on the small daily happenings. Bringing attention to a bad habit or something you would like to change really makes you painfully aware of how often you do it! I realized in making this effort, I really just should listen better instead of saying huh? all the time.
4. Share your goals, or at least write them down. Put them somewhere you have quick access to so you can revisit them every so often. If you have someone in you're life that you're close enough with (which we hopefully all do), share them with that person. Holding yourself accountable only goes so far, but when you tell someone else it makes it much more difficult to avoid!
A big one that I almost always have on my list and revisit frequently is a quote my mom said to me a few years back - I believe it actually initially came from my aunt.
..this idea has created a mantra for me and is a great list to live by.
Never hurry: This used to be a big one for me. I tend to be someone who moves very quickly, be it walking through a store, typing, cooking, getting dressed, anything. I just tend to be very quick, but it got to the point where I always felt like I was racing something or was always in a bit of a huff. On top of that I ABSOLUTELY HATE being late, which made it worse. I worked really hard on it for about 6 months to really be able to let go of that terrorizing feeling of feeling rushed all the time. I drove slower, gave myself more time to accomplish tasks, and trained myself to enjoy things like traffic and long showers. Turns out, I didn't really slow down per se, but I stopped feeling like I needed to rush everywhere. Learning this has really helped me learn to let go in so many other aspects of my life, as well.
Never worry: This one is difficult for all of us, but the idea of not allowing our minds to worry about things we can not fix, change or alter is a very heavy load off our everyday minds. Worrying accomplished absolutely nothing and is a waste of imagination.
Don't explain: Once I started watching out for this in my daily life, I realized how often I do it. The more aware of it I became, the more I realized how making excuses just makes us look foolish. As an explanation tumbled out of my mouth, I started to feel like a naughty child trying to get myself out of trouble. If you screw up, run late, burn dinner, or fall short of "perfect" in any other way, own it, don't excuse it. If you show up late, don't blame traffic, apologize (hopefully if you're terribly late, you called ahead, because we do have manners after all). If things aren't perfect, just accept it, don't do the excuse dance. Miss a deadline at work? Either create better work habits so you don't feel like you have to make excuses, or own up to, admit it, move on and finish the task.
...and lastly, don't complain: this is another one we all do far too often. We complain about the weather, our oooooh soooooooo busy lives, our families, children, clothing choices, food, music, cars...I mean, what do we NOT complain about?? Pay attention to how much you actually do this, you'll be shocked. I'm talking about any type of complaint here, not just ones you formally write to the editor about. I mean little things like the morning grumble of whyyyyyyy are there always shoes all over the floor?? I don't have anything to wear!!! and so on. Remove the complaints...be aware of them before they tumble out of your mouth, consider whether or not it's a necessary statement to make (Does it help someone in some way? Is it productive or encouraging?), does it add something positive to your own day? Begin with being aware of them, then try either not saying them at all, or saying something productive or positive instead.
I've had quite a bit of change throughout this last year, so my NYR list is all over the place a really unorganized. One item will certainly be to spend more time on my blog! I'm still putting my list together and will share it when it's finished. I'll have the free printable for never hurry... up next week for you!